*big big breath*
Just a tad too busy these days. I guess you can call it a photography funk. I realize I spread myself thin trying to do all kinds of shoots, and it is now catching up with me. I want to do sports editorial, corporate and lifestyle (fashionish, cool portrait shoots with adults) and contemporary glamour (maybe). Right now, I do babies, kids, families, weddings + engagements, corporate, you name it. And I am starting to realize it does not make me happy.
It’s a sad realization when your passion does not make you happy anymore, because you got lost along the way. This also leads, to me feeling a bit “chaotic” these days… I have fallen back into old old habits that I don’t like, and need to put an end to this for my own sanity.
First a NAP. Then we’ll see… I am awesome at making lists… but rarely follow them… I think they are just little reminders since my memory seems to be faulty these days.
No time for the gym these days, but I am doing my best to eat well. Little emotional moments make me fall back into my old junk food habits pretty easily, it’s disappointing. I need a mini Steph to stay on my shoulder and flick my ear every time I make a bad choice…
*big big breath*
So I took my before photos today… OUCH! Quite a slap in the face… I almost want to post them for accountability, but I am too ashamed.
I unfortunately have a tendency to imagine myself smaller than I am… Most people do the opposite. All I can think of is what I looked like 30 lbs heavier 2 years ago…
I can do this, need to do this… Will do it. Not ifs ands or buts. For me.
I have been known to live in the past, to reminisce about it and what I consider my best years, about the people I loved and lost track of.
People say that what is in the past should remain in the past… And I am starting to believe it. I might think they were my best years, but when I dive back in thinking of an old friend who I loved a lot, there is only hurt, disappointment and doubt about myself, and feelings of yet again being inadequate and not worth loving.
Why do I do this to myself over and over again?
I was SO excited to receive my meal plan, and to see what she had in store for me…
I am glad to see that we are both goofy and get along so well :-) It’s going to make this journey so much more fun. She got a taste of my food quirks tonight… Yes, I am weirdo. The kind that will eat scrambled eggs, but not hard boiled ones.
All in all, the plan is fantastic, and very thorough. She went over everything with me, and explained the dos and don’ts of the process. I think my favourite thing, BONE BROTH! I cannot wait to have this every morning… and I know that this is going to make a major difference for me, and set me on the right track.
Main thing for me, MEAL PREP. It is going to be key to my success. One or two days out of my week will have to be dedicated to meal prepping, in order to have everything handy for on-the-go moments… which let’s face it, with the business the way it’s going, is pretty much all the time. Next week, we’ll spend a morning together meal prepping, and I cannot wait!
Finally, a good thing I do for me, for my life, for my future. Changing my life for better. It’s about time… I am super excited!